As an adult, I’m fighting that. I’m not just fighting to understand math. I’m fighting to find the joy in beating a difficult problem, and I’m fighting for my kids to value that as well.

So I’m going to keep trying in spite of this:

And this:

And even this. Blarg.

My green checkmarks represent answers I’d previously given. The system affirmed they were right, but when I tried to graph them, it then asserted that the answers were wrong. I’m lost, and I need all the help I can get. So if you can see what I’m doing wrong here, let me know.

A story behind the flower pen: I’d posted this on Facebook on April 30th –

Kids: (bickering for five minutes straight)
Me: *simply looks at kids with wide eyes*
Ethan: “Mom’s right. This is a dumb argument.”
Mary : “Yeah, it is. Sorry about that.”

Me:

I love being a mom.

I found out moments afterward what they were arguing about: a gluestick. To make mother’s day presents for me. What a couple of cuties!

I used to feel guilty on Mother’s day, thinking I wasn’t doing enough somehow. Well, these days I _know_ I can’t do enough, but thankfully, the Lord makes up the rest. I did have a lump in my throat when we sang, “Families can Be Together Forever” — but other than that, today I was just happy to know I’ve got two sweet kids who love me.

Happy Mother’s Day, all.

Mm. Cupcakes. This frosting is really good, and its recipe is all yours!

This is a cupcake I made recently. I found a frosting recipe online, tweaked it to my liking, and then shared my changes with the world.

No offense to my favorite little bakery, but I dare say this cupcake was every bit as good as what I could have bought there.

“FOSS” stands for “Free and Open Source Software.” That is free as in free of charge, but it’s also free as in freedom.

All cupcakes have a list of ingredients and steps to make them, whether the baker chooses to share the recipe or not. All software has source code that makes it work, too.

Using closed source software is like eating from a bakery that never shares its recipes. Not a bad thing, really. But not very empowering, either.

Using open source software is like using a recipe. You can download it and use it as-is, or tweak it to your liking. Yes, it might require a bit of skill, time, and the right equipment. Just because I have a recipe does not mean I have a cupcake, instantly. But having a recipe DOES make it easier for me to make my own cupcakes when I’d like.

Are they just as good as what I could buy from the pros? Maybe. I would argue that when it comes to open source software, it can become even BETTER than what’s sold as closed-source, because you can have a whole community contributing their ideas to make it better.

Do I still buy cupcakes at Flour Girls and Dough Boys? Every now and then. Am I an expert baker? Not in the least. But because some expert bakers shared their knowledge with me, I do make a great cupcake.

I’m no more a software expert than I am an expert baker, but because of Open Source, I am all the more free. That’s what it’s all about.

A wasp. Not a bee. Scary, but dead. He looks at peace.

I happened to meet a beekeeper tonight and we talked about this very issue. He not only keeps bees, but he runs swarm removal service in Salt Lake City where he’ll catch bee swarms that might be bothering you. We both figured Ethan would get over his fear of bees once he’s been stung — but will that ever happen?

I think if you were to ask Ethan what his goals this summer are, he would not say, “To avoid being stung.” And yet, at this rate, he’s very likely to meet that unspoken goal, even though it keeps him from doing what he’d enjoy. Would a good mom force him to get out and get stung so he can hurry and get over it?

Am I doing the same thing in life? What are my goals? What is the Lord asking me to do that I might be afraid of, and am I living life as though my primary motivation is to avoid getting hurt?

Richard E. Turley spoke at the fireside I attended tonight. He specifically requested that we sing hymn #240, a song about the principle of agency. And he spoke about how the Lord would bless the faithful. So what do I choose: fear, or faith? God isn’t going to force us to heaven, or to happiness. And it isn’t just a matter of WANTING happiness, either. We have to have faith and trust in Him that all will be well, and then act in accordance with that trust, knowing that God will keep His promises to use. It’s something to think about.